Hypnotherapy and Psycho-therapeutic counselling, REBT, and NLP Transformation Coach based in Marlow, Bucks.
Worth and Value in this post refers to the intangible internal thought process, the internal psychological possession and not the tangible materialistic external possession. The inner stuff. The inner worth versus inner value.
Worth or worthiness is a perception which a person is deserving to be rated, to deserve something. Worth is an internal perception of self. It is an internal interpretation of something or someone. Worth has equivalent value to monetary sum or specific item. Worth is a measurement of qualities at face-value. Worth, in this post is about esteem. Personal reflection of a person’s subjective evaluation of the self or others. Worth is at our core. It places judgement on the self or others which form an attitude.
It serves healthy ego satisfaction and narcissism which results in confidence and high esteem. But, unhealthy ego satisfaction perversely results in contemptuous self-defeating behaviours and arrogance, including unhealthy narcissistic tendencies.
When someone or something one does is worthiness, it holds significance. When I decided to start my MA, I felt worthy to start the training because I know within my core that I can do it and it is worth doing. I was pleased to be accepted, I felt worthy to the course of training.
Social interactions and games people play are determined by the unconscious sense of self-worth. A person with low self-worth will often capitulate with a person with high self-worth. This may be because they lack perception of self-esteem and disclaim their worth and sense of being. This person does not see themselves as equal. This person will not exert volition. This person idolises others to be worthier.
Other reasons may include conditioned behaviours, cultural, and family roles. Each family members have a role; each role hold status and with that status is a hierarchy of worth which other family members must obey. Most society has cultural rules that maybe unspoken, the tribal leader holds worthy stature over its community as member respect and worship them. Each culture may be religious and this also hold worth.
Self-worth or self-worthiness is a self-perception or self-reflection of own value.
Values is an internal cognitive sense. How much do you feel value? How much value do your place, on your self-worth? Value, in this post, is a self-efficacy of self-worth. Value is the expressive presentation of your self-worth. Value is placed on stature, respectability and sometime class. Value can be materialistic and can be brought. Value can be seen to have a price tag. I know how my value as a therapist and I think I am worth the price that I charge.
As an employee, many of us, do not feel value in our role and hence do not get remuneration package that we deserve. Some employee has value which may be less deserving than the package. Value is said to be linked to ‘deserving’. Value can also be rewarded in kind such as reciprocal services. A husband who values his home-stay wife might show his kindness in intimacy. A wife might show her husband’s value by a welcoming home-cooked meal. A friend might value her friendship with loyalty.
Worth and value are intimately connected, interplay with synchronicity. Worth and value bond to form self-esteem, self-confident and self-love. Explore your self-worth and your value. How well do they get along? Do they harmonise? Are they well-tuned?
Self-worth doesn’t happen overnight and doesn’t grow on tree. It is something that need constant focus and attention. As you have self-worth, your value will naturally increase.
Self-worth can be built but it isn’t something that can be taught here. It takes commitment and willingness. It takes energy and determination. It takes time and tender loving care. It takes empathetic connection within therapeutic relationship to make possible. And it takes a change of mindset.
What is your next step to building your self-worth and value?